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Week #7 – New Path

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This week was challenging and rewarding at the same time. I struggled to do even basic things and at the same time conceived new big projects for myself.

Let’s start at the beginning of the week. I started working on a new project last week. Even finished writing the story (the easy part) and communicated the concerned party (the hard part). Everything was ready but then I got paralyzed by a strange fear. I am yet to understand what the fear was all about.

I knew I am making a mountain out of a molehill but somehow knowing that your fears are irrational doesn’t make the fears disappear. I don’t know what the right way was or how I should have overcome my own shackles sooner. But ultimately I did post the story (but after I got an inquiry message). Maybe being held accountable from external sources helps me get out of my own head and get things done.

So, in short, the start of this project could have gone more smoothly if fear hadn’t decided to pay me an unexpected visit.

In the midst of all this, I found myself struggling to journal while I knew journaling will help me sort my thoughts and help me understand and overcome my irrational fears. But sometimes I just don’t want to struggle more. Sometimes I just want to stay still and wait for the emotions to pass. Understanding the thoughts and my beliefs behind them can come later.

The week was not all gloomy despite what this post might suggest. I finished two non-fiction books I had been reading for a while. Since I love fiction way more than non-fiction, finishing two books was a big achievement for me.

Another high note was getting my new earphones. My current phone doesn’t have a 3.5mm jack (like most new phones) making my last favourite pair of earphones a little difficult to use. I mean I could always use them with a connector but somehow that was not so appealing.

So I did the best thing I could think of. I bought pretty awesome blue-tooth earphones. I have other earphones as well. But I have come to realize that I have some favourite things I love to use way more than others. Like I have so many pens I shouldn’t even dare to start counting. But when I have to write, I have specific pens I use with specific notebooks. Like I use a particular pen for my journal and a different one for writing a shopping list. Same is the case with watches, or shoes, or even purses. I have several but I use only specific ones for particular things. I need a favourite for everything.

So, when my old favourite earphones broke my heart, I was looking for a new companion. My earphones are my work buddies. I can work fine without them but they make working more fun.

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