Department: Enchanted Forest Police (EFP)
Division: Domestic Crimes & Magical Interference Unit
Officer Reporting: Detective Bartholomew Grimm, Badge #7734
Partner: Officer Flora Fauna, Supernatural Crimes Division
Date: December 1st, Year of Our Fairy Godmother 1687
Time: 00:47 hours (post-midnight)
INCIDENT SUMMARY
On the evening of November 30th, this department responded to multiple calls regarding a suspicious person fleeing the Royal Palace at high speed, leaving behind evidence of grand theft (one glass slipper, royal property), possible identity fraud, and what witnesses described as “the most dramatic exit since the Three Little Pigs arson case of ’82.” [web:1][web:5]
Upon investigation, officers discovered a pattern of severe domestic abuse, forced labor violations, and what appears to be unauthorized magical intervention in the life of one Miss Ella Tremaine (alias: “Cinderella,” “Cinder-butt,” “That Girl Who Sleeps By The Ashes”). [web:3]
The victim/suspect is approximately 19 years old, blonde, petite build, last seen wearing what witnesses describe as “the most gorgeous ball gown ever” which mysteriously transformed into rags at the stroke of midnight. Because apparently, magic has a union-mandated break time.
CRIME SCENE OBSERVATIONS
Primary Scene: Tremaine Residence, 13 Wicked Stepmother Lane
Upon arrival at 06:30 hours, officers observed conditions consistent with long-term exploitation and abuse:
- Kitchen Area: Approximately 47 unwashed dishes, 12 scrub brushes worn down to nubs, and what appeared to be a broom that had filed its own workers’ compensation claim
- Attic Bedroom (Victim’s Room): No heating, one threadbare blanket, a bed that makes prison cots look like the Ritz, and motivational posters of mice (subjects interviewed later)
- Stepsisters’ Rooms: Chaos. Pure, unadulterated chaos. Clothes everywhere, 23 pairs of shoes that don’t fit (ironically), and enough makeup to supply a circus
- Living Room: Portrait of deceased father looking disappointed from beyond the grave
Secondary Scene: Royal Palace Courtyard
Officers documented the following at the palace grounds:
- Remnants of what appeared to be a pumpkin, though forensics initially mistook it for evidence of a vegetable-related assault
- Four white mice in various states of confusion, found near horse feed (toxicology pending)
- One (1) glass slipper, size 5.5, evidence tag #GLASSLIPPER001
- Tire tracks from what witnesses described as a “carriage that sparkled like a disco ball” (further investigation required into 17th-century disco balls)
- Twelve palace guards suffering from acute confusion and one very frustrated prince
EVIDENCE COLLECTED
Item #1: Glass slipper (right foot), approximately $4,000 value if purchased at enchanted Nordstrom. Chain of custody maintained, though Prince Charming attempted to bribe officers with royal immunity. Request denied.
Item #2: Pumpkin remains, weight approximately 47 lbs pre-transformation. Seeds collected for botanical analysis. CSI team annoyed at having to bag a vegetable.
Item #3: Broom (broken), handle snapped in multiple places, appears to have been used as both cleaning implement and probable weapon of self-defense. Bristles contain DNA from suspect/victim and traces of tears (chemical analysis confirms composition of 60% despair, 40% salt).
Item #4: Employment records (non-existent). Victim received no wages, no days off, no benefits, and definitely no 401k plan for the past 12 years.
Item #5: Magical residue samples from ballgown fragments found at scene. Contained traces of “Bibbidi-Bobbidi-Boo” (Schedule IV controlled magical substance).
Item #6: Witness testimony recordings (47 total), including statements from palace guards, partygoers, and approximately 200 mice, sparrows, and one very chatty bluebird.
WITNESS STATEMENTS
Witness #1: Prince Christopher Charming (the “Charming” is self-appointed)
“She was the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen! We danced for hours! I was about to propose when—POOF—she just ran away at midnight like I had the plague! All she left was this shoe. Do you know how hard it is to build a relationship on footwear? I’ve been walking around the kingdom making random women try on a shoe like some kind of footwear fetishist. This is humiliating.”
Officer’s Note: Subject appears emotionally distressed and possibly suffering from “love at first sight” delusions. Recommended therapy.
Witness #2: Fairy Godmother (name redacted per Magical Witness Protection Program)
“Listen, I helped the kid go to ONE ball. ONE! I gave her a dress, fixed up her ride, and explicitly—EXPLICITLY—told her to be home by midnight. The magic expires! That’s how it works! I can’t just hand out unlimited transformations—do you know the paperwork involved? I have 47 other clients! She’s lucky I squeezed her in between the frog prince and that girl with the absurdly long hair.”
Officer’s Note: Subject displayed proper magical licensing credentials. However, transformation of minors without parental consent remains legally ambiguous. Case forwarded to Magical Ethics Board.
Witness #3: Lady Tremaine (Stepmother)
“This is ridiculous! Ella is a member of our household and performs age-appropriate chores! That ungrateful girl has a roof over her head—the attic is a perfectly reasonable living space! And she did NOT have permission to attend that ball. She stole from us, destroyed property, and has clearly been engaging in magical dealings we knew nothing about. We’re the victims here!”
Officer’s Note: Subject refused polygraph test. Attorney present throughout interview. Strong whiff of sulfur detected, possibly demonic origin. Further investigation warranted.
Witness #4: Anastasia & Drizella Tremaine (Stepsisters)
Anastasia: “Cinderella had work to do! We needed our dresses ironed!”
Drizella: “And our hair curled!”
Anastasia: “And our shoes polished!”
Drizella: “She’s always been jealous of us!”
Both: “This is SO unfair!”
Officer’s Note: Subjects spoke simultaneously for 45 minutes straight. This investigator now understands why the victim allegedly hid in the cellar. Both subjects attempted to try on evidence (glass slipper). Denied.
Witness #5: Gus & Jaq (Mice, interviewed via Snow White’s Animal Translator)
Gus: “Cinderelly nice! Cinderelly work hard! Mean stepmother! Mean, mean, mean!”
Jaq: “We try help! We make dress! They tear dress! Rip-rip-rip! Made Cinderelly cry-cry-cry!”
Officer’s Note: Most credible witnesses thus far. Provided consistent timeline. Requested cheese for testimony. Approved.
SUSPECT PROFILE
Primary Suspect/Victim: Ella “Cinderella” Tremaine
- Charges Pending (Victim): None. Victim of domestic abuse, forced labor, psychological torture, and fashion crimes against humanity (those rags were a human rights violation)
- Charges Pending (as Suspect): Possible theft of glass slipper (disputed—see analysis below), fleeing royal premises without permission, identity fraud (using “mysterious beautiful stranger” identity versus actual “household servant” identity)
Build: Petite, approximately 5’4″, blonde hair, blue eyes
Distinguishing Features: Unnaturally kind disposition despite years of abuse, ability to sing to animals (Disney princess license verified), hands worn from years of manual labor
Known Associates: Fairy Godmother, various woodland creatures, four mice with suspiciously human names
Prior Record: None. Perfect record of compliance despite hostile living conditions
Psychological Assessment: Demonstrates remarkable resilience, possible trauma response manifesting as excessive optimism
Secondary Suspects: Lady Tremaine, Anastasia Tremaine, Drizella Tremaine
- Charges Under Consideration:
- Child endangerment and abuse (Class A felony)
- Labor law violations (12 years of unpaid servitude)
- Theft of inheritance (victim’s father’s estate)
- Emotional abuse and psychological torture
- Destruction of personal property (victim’s mother’s dress)
- Conspiracy to deny basic human rights
- Being generally terrible human beings (not technically illegal but should be)
CASE ANALYSIS
This case represents a complex intersection of domestic abuse, magical intervention, and what this investigator can only describe as “peak fairy tale nonsense.”
The Abuse Pattern
Evidence overwhelmingly supports systematic abuse of Miss Tremaine beginning approximately age 7, following her father’s suspicious death (see Case File #2104: “Did He Fall Down Those Stairs Or Was He Pushed?”). [web:3] The victim was relegated to servant status in her own home, denied basic necessities, subjected to psychological torture, and forced to labor without compensation for over a decade.
The stepmother and stepsisters demonstrate textbook abuser behavior: isolation of victim, destruction of personal property, verbal abuse, denial of opportunities, and gaslighting. When interviewed, Lady Tremaine attempted to characterize the victim as “ungrateful” and the abuse as “appropriate discipline.” This investigator had to leave the room before committing police brutality.
The Midnight Flight
Regarding the victim’s dramatic exit from the royal ball: given the circumstances of magical transformation with a hard deadline, her decision to flee was not evasion—it was survival. [web:5] Witnesses confirm she departed at precisely midnight, demonstrating she was highly aware of her magical limitations.
Had she remained past midnight, she would have been exposed as a “commoner” in front of the entire court, potentially facing charges of fraud, class violation, or worse. In the historical context of rigid class structures, such exposure could result in imprisonment or exile. Her flight was strategic self-preservation, not criminal intent.
The Glass Slipper Situation
The prince claims the slipper is royal property. However, evidence suggests the slipper was magically created FOR the victim BY a licensed magical practitioner specifically for her use. Therefore, the slipper is arguably the victim’s personal property, making this a civil dispute at best.
Furthermore, the victim clearly did not “steal” the slipper—she lost it while fleeing under duress. This investigator has reviewed security footage (via crystal ball recording, evidence #47). The victim was running full-speed down marble stairs in a floor-length gown while the palace clock literally exploded with bongs. Anyone would lose a shoe.
The prince’s subsequent kingdom-wide shoe-fitting campaign borders on harassment and possible foot fetishism. This department has received 47 complaints from women forced to try on footwear by overly aggressive royal guards.
Magical Intervention
The Fairy Godmother’s involvement, while well-intentioned, raises legal questions. Transformation of a minor without guardian consent, creation of potentially dangerous magical transportation (pumpkin carriages are NOT DOT approved), and use of controlled magical substances all warrant further review.
However, given the victim’s circumstances and immediate danger, this investigator believes the intervention falls under “magical necessity doctrine”—similar to breaking a car window to rescue a dog on a hot day, but with more sparkles.
CASE STATUS
CLOSED – Domestic Abuse Investigation
Charges filed against Lady Tremaine, Anastasia Tremaine, and Drizella Tremaine including:
- 47 counts of labor law violations
- 12 counts of child abuse/endangerment
- Grand theft (victim’s inheritance)
- Conspiracy to commit emotional torture
All three suspects remanded to the Enchanted Forest Correctional Facility pending trial. Bail set at 10,000 gold coins each. Suspect Lady Tremaine attempted to command cell mice to help her escape. Mice refused.
CLOSED – Property Theft (Glass Slipper)
No charges filed. Slipper determined to be victim’s personal property. Prince Charming issued formal apology and asked for victim’s contact information approximately 47 times. This department is not a dating service.
ONGOING – Magical Intervention Review
Case forwarded to Magical Regulatory Commission for review of Fairy Godmother’s licensing and procedural compliance. Recommend warning only, given mitigating circumstances.
REFERRED TO VICTIM SERVICES
Miss Tremaine referred to Enchanted Forest Victim Services for:
- Trauma counseling
- Job placement assistance (girl has skills—she can clean ANYTHING)
- Legal assistance in reclaiming father’s estate
- Restraining orders against all Tremaine family members
- And apparently a royal wedding invitation (Prince Charming fast-tracked this)
Final Notes
This investigator has worked domestic violence cases for 15 years and this ranks among the most egregious. Miss Tremaine endured over a decade of systematic abuse with remarkable grace, maintained her humanity, befriended rodents (which is weird but wholesome), and ultimately took one night for herself.
The Tremaines can rot in their cell. The mice get the cheese they deserve. The Fairy Godmother needs better scheduling software. And Prince Charming needs to learn that building a relationship on a shoe size is potentially problematic, but given that he seems genuinely kind and the victim appears mutually interested, this investigator wishes them well.
Case closed. Now someone please explain why the prince didn’t just FOLLOW her instead of waiting to do a kingdom-wide shoe search. That would have taken 10 minutes instead of three weeks.
Report filed by:
Detective Bartholomew Grimm
Badge #7734
Enchanted Forest Police Department
“To Serve, Protect, and Occasionally Deal with Magical Nonsense”
Evidence Storage: Royal Vault, Section M (Magical Evidence)
Next Court Date: January 15th, 1688
Status: Victim recovering well, reportedly seen having tea with talking mice and planning wedding
This Investigator’s Sanity: Questionable
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