For most of my life I have kept myself burdened by a lot of guilt. The guilt can come in any shape or size. It can come when I think I am not doing what I think I should be doing. And the worst part was that I used to burden myself by guilt even when I would do things I thought I was supposed to be doing. This particular type of guilt came from the line of thinking that while I am doing task A, I am not doing task B. There is no end to this line of thinking. Or so thought.
Lately I have been feeling guilty for feeling guilty all the time. This was such a strange Catch 22 like situation. I didn’t know how to break the guilt cycle. When I was not writing, I was feeling guilty for not utilising my time. When I was writing, I would feel guilty of not doing household chores or million other things I thought I should be doing.
Then one week I just divided to take a break. Kind of a mini vacation from all the guilt. I decided that I won’t write anything for a week. Rather I decided that I won’t do any chores, any reading or any of the zillions tasks I set for myself practically everyday.
I decided that I would insteed just sleep or binge watch or do any damn thing that fancies me at the moment and not feel guilty. The catch phrase was to not feel guilty.
The first of the week, I wrote more than I had written in the entire earlier month. Next days were similar. I did more than I ever did when I meticulously planned my days and made mile long to-do list for myself. And the best part – my head felt so much lighter. I am not kidding. I could feel the difference physically.
I am not saying that I am suddenly super productive. I am not. But I am not punishing myself by unnecessary guilt either.
I have read many people swearing by their to-do lists and NOT to-do lists. For me just focusing on not feeling guilty made a huge difference.
Do give it a try once if you too have a habit of loading yourself with guilt.